New Look!

I changed the presentation of my blog because I needed another column, and I think this looks much nicer! Now I have more room for some of the things I have planned for my blog. I’ll be adding a link that will allow you to download free pamphlets from my Relate Well Pamphlet Series. I think you will find these very informative and practical. So, in order to do this I needed a better layout and I have that now. My new website, Interpersonal Excellence with Crystal Hernandez will offer useful services and products aimed at giving you the ability to transform all of your important relationships, and many “downloadables” you can take advantage of instantly. I’ll keep you posted.

The Oil and Water Problem of Self-Gratification

I had to run out to my local supermarket to pick up some milk for my daugher. As I left the store, having made my purchase, I noticed two young adult women and a young male walking together and heading into the store. Both young ladies wore jeans so tight that they appeared painted on, and the tops they wore were equally immodest (thin and revealing).

I thought to myself, why would any woman want to spend the day, an evening, or an hour in pants so tight that breathing becomes a chore? I know the look and feel of “skin tight” and it’s no comfort zone. Following the birth of each of my children, I’ve always kept my pre-pregnancy clothing with the goal of returning to my pre-pregnancy size, although the recent birth of my 10 month old has proven to be quite the challenge.

Thrifty, yes–and a needed challenge to lose the baby weight for the sake of my health. Every few weeks I would attempt to get back into my pants and tops. If I hadn’t slimmed down enough I’d never get the slacks past my hips. Then there were times when they wouldn’t zip up. And, finally when I could actually zip and button up–they were tight. And, I mean breathless tight!

I’m not one to wear tight pants because I find them uncomfortable and unsightly. But, why would any woman endure such discomfort? I realize she may think it’s attractive, but the discomfort of suffocating tight pants? I can only conclude that it accomplishes two things for her. One, she believes it’s attractive. Two, she gains male attention. Nothing wrong with a desire to be attractive or to have the attention of a man. Unfortunately, this type of behavior will only garnish the wrong kind of attention, and very likely, the wrong kind of male.

Still, some women find this acceptable. After all, they may think and believe, provocative attire gives them the attention they desire, need and want from men. It’s gratifying for them. Getting what we want when we want as often as we want it is a lifestyle centered around self-gratification. Ours is a culture that encourages this. However, this kind of behavior makes it difficult if not impossible to obtain the American dream of a lasting and loving marriage (despite the divorce rate and culture we have experienced, most Americans desire to marry one day). Habitual self-gratification in marriage is like trying to mix oil and water–it’s simply incompatiable and makes for poor marriage quality. After all marriage is not about me. It’s about we.