Here’s Something from a Young Guest

Over the next couple of days I will be informally interviewing a young guest on the future of marriage and young girls today. Here’s the first run.

MM: Welcome to Marriage Material Lael

Guest: Hi

MM: As you know I talk about marriage and family relating on this blog. I’m very interested in your thoughts about young women and the future of marriage. Do you think young girls have positive expectations for marrying someday?

Guest: Yes, I think they do. Most girls dream about some day marrying the man of their dreams, someone who is handsome and successful, that they’re compatible with and can can have fun with. We often talk about it with each other too.

MM: What do you think about negative comments expressed in movies, commercials, or music about marriage?

Guest: The most popular negative comments I’ve heard are that most couples don’t stay together very long. I often see in movies parents fighting, or single people dating who are divorced, and also people saying that they want to move in together instead of getting married. Music, I don’t really think they talk about marriage so much. More about love, dating, or someone’s heart being broken. Speaking of hearts being broken, sometimes in music actually you do hear that a woman doesn’t need a man, or most of the time he won’t be there and stuff about guys walking out on their girlfriends or leaving and stuff like that.

MM: You’re right and these messages are fairly similar despite the medium. Do you think most girls agree with these messages?

Guest: I don’t believe that most girls do. Most have enough sense to realize that all that music and media tells us isn’t reality. Some girls however do believe that what music and everything says is true. They actually believe that every guy will break their heart or that they’ll leave them and that they won’t be able to stay together, or that the guy will cheat on them. Because, if you hear half the music out there, they are always saying things like ‘You went behind my back and called my friend’ and ‘but you left her number on your phone’, all that junk. But like I said, i do think that most girls have their heads on straight and don’t look to music and media for advice on relationships and what will happen if you do this or that. Most girls, including me, know that we may not need a man to do everything, i mean sure we’re capable on our own for some things, but we’re not so in your face about it. Most of us know things like that, you know?

MM: I think hearing you on this subject like this is good news for us parents…most of us hope that our daughters are learning to think clearly for themselves…we hope our girls are becoming smart and selective consumers of entertainment. Your thoughts here are appreciated! Let’s wrap it up here for today. Thanks for being willing to share your thoughts with us. I look forward to picking this up again with you tomorrow!

Guest:No problem.

Well, check back here tomorrow to hear more from my young guest on the future of marriage and young women today. All the best!

Are You Feeding Your Mind?

Well, I finished reading The Rhythm of Life by Matthew Kelly. An absolutely life enriching experience. I found myself reflecting on things I’ve said and done. I even made some new commitments to doing things a little different. This marvelous book encouraged me, inspired me, challenged me, made my eyes swell with tears…and reminded me of my untapped potential in every area of my life. It fed my spirit, soul, heart and mind. Feeling stuck? This might be just the gentle push you need to do what you fear, dread, or have desired and want to do. Remember, if you don’t take care of your mind who will? Besides that, you are worth the time it takes to read a good book! That’s what I tell myself when I’m tempted to believe I don’t have time to read for intellectual enrichment and pleasure!

A little Self-Control Goes a Long Way

When was the last time you handled yourself well in the face of contention or what might come across as combativeness? It’s so easy to fire back a remark in defense of yourself without really being sure about what you’re dealing with.

I think a lot of conflict comes from reacting right away to a tone of voice, a facial expression, or other gestures. We too often react to this information before we’ve had a chance to understand it accurately–without checking our perceptions and interpretations out.

Convinced of our interpretation of what we see and hear we move swiftly to act–in our own defense, that is. What if we were just as swift to act in the interest of the other person? Our interactions would be something quite different I suspect. Imagine being slow to anger with our kids, our spouses, our bosses, our colleagues and coworkers…if you can imagine that then you can see how much a little self control can do to transform us and our relationships. Just imagine it. If you can imagine it your chances of doing it are more likely.