When was the last time you handled yourself well in the face of contention or what might come across as combativeness? It’s so easy to fire back a remark in defense of yourself without really being sure about what you’re dealing with.
I think a lot of conflict comes from reacting right away to a tone of voice, a facial expression, or other gestures. We too often react to this information before we’ve had a chance to understand it accurately–without checking our perceptions and interpretations out.
Convinced of our interpretation of what we see and hear we move swiftly to act–in our own defense, that is. What if we were just as swift to act in the interest of the other person? Our interactions would be something quite different I suspect. Imagine being slow to anger with our kids, our spouses, our bosses, our colleagues and coworkers…if you can imagine that then you can see how much a little self control can do to transform us and our relationships. Just imagine it. If you can imagine it your chances of doing it are more likely.
